


kiss me

by poetictragedy



Category: Big Time Rush RPF
Genre: Carlos being kind of cheesy, Drinking, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-28
Updated: 2012-10-28
Packaged: 2017-11-17 05:19:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/548032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetictragedy/pseuds/poetictragedy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While they’re drinking one night, Carlos spills a secret to Kendall and James; his friends encourage him to go after what he secretly wants and Carlos takes their advice.  Also, he’s a little tipsy and asks Logan if he thinks he’s cute because, well, he’s not responsible for his actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	kiss me

”I want to kiss Logan,” Carlos says one night when he’s sitting on the living room floor with Kendall and James, all three of them drinking coffee spiked with vodka. He bites his lip, expecting his friends to laugh at him or to disown him, but they just look at him with raised brows, both wearing the same expression. “I just - _god_  - I want him so much, you guys have no idea.”

And, okay, maybe it’s the alcohol talking or the exhaustion finally kicking his ass but Carlos can’t seem to keep his mouth shut, not even if he tries. He just keeps talking about Logan and how he loves his dimples; the way his eyes shine under the light and the way he smiles at Carlos when no one else is looking. As he talks, Carlos sloshes more vodka into his coffee mug and downs it, the lingering taste of coffee doing nothing to hide the awful, awful taste of the liquor. 

James takes the bottle away and puts it between himself and Kendall. “So, why don’t you just kiss him then? I mean, sounds like you both want to kiss each other,” he says, leaning back against the couch carefully, eyelids heavy.

“Yeah,” Kendall agrees, setting his coffee mug down. “I think you should go for it.”

Carlos blushes - full on fucking _blushes_  - and he ducks his head, looking down into the empty mug in his hands, rolling his bottom lip between his teeth. He thinks about how Logan is upstairs, sleeping in his bed, and how Carlos could probably go up and kiss him  _rightthefucknow_  and no one would say anything. The thought is both exciting and scary at the same time because Carlos really doesn’t know how Logan will react, especially if he realizes that he’s maybe kind of a little bit tipsy… but, god, how he wants it.

“Right now?” Carlos asks, voice small and squeaky.

“Do it,” Kendall says as he moves onto his knees, going over to pull Carlos up as much as he can, getting in close. “Do it right now or I will go up there, put my lips against Logan myself, and do what you’re too — too chicken to do.”

Swallowing thickly, Carlos nods and hands his coffee mug to Kendall. “I’m gonna go kiss Logan,” he declares, pushing himself to his feet; he wobbles a bit but stays on his feet, mostly, as he makes his way to the stairs.

Behind him, Kendall and James are chanting his name lightly and that only makes Carlos blush even harder. He lets out a harsh ‘shh’ and flips them off when they start to laugh and say his name louder, their voices carrying up the stairs and down the hall, words faint when Carlos stops in front of Logan’s room. Huffing, he lifts a hand and knocks tentatively on the door, rocking back on his heels as he waits for an answer, his stomach twisting in knots. 

Carlos can hear soft footsteps approaching a moment later and he swallows thickly, closing his eyes for a second before blinking them open, settling them on the door that opens slowly, revealing Logan standing in the doorway. He opens his mouth to say something, only to realize that his best friend is shirtless… and wearing very tight boxer briefs. With the Batman symbol on the front.

God, Carlos is fucked.

“Hey Litos,” Logan yawns out, moving a hand to drag through his sleep-mussed hair, giving the other boy a sleepy smile. “What’s up?”

It takes Carlos a moment to tear his eyes away from the front of Logan’s briefs and he lets his gaze slide up the other boy’s body slowly, finally settling on his face. He opens his mouth and closes it, looking - and sounding - very much like a fish out of water that’s laying somewhere on the land, gasping for breath and dying. 

Finally, Carlos just sighs and shrugs a shoulder. “Nothing, I just wanted to um,” he says, pausing for a second to come up with a good excuse as to why he’d be bothering Logan in the middle of the night.

“You wanted to —?” Logan hedges, leaning against the door frame.

Lying. Lying works. “Kendall and James made me watch that movie, you know, the one with the humans and where the guy,” Carlos makes hand gestures to try and convey the act of sewing, “the people together to make the human millipede.”

“Centipede.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Logan laughs quietly and nods, looking at Carlos. “That doesn’t explain what you’re doing up here,” he says, moving a hand to his mouth to muffle a yawn.

“Oh, right,” Carlos says, nodding twice as he moves a hand through his hair. “Well, that movie terrifies me and they — neither of them would let me sleep in their room, so I was wondering…”

“If you could sleep with me tonight?” Logan finishes, quirking a brow.

Swallowing, Carlos nods and gives his best puppy dog eyes. “Please,” he whimpers.

“Sure.”

“You’re the best.” Carlos smiles wide and then bites his lower lip.

Rolling his eyes, Logan snorts and waves a hand dismissively, moving away from the jamb to push the door open for Carlos. He shuts it when his friend is inside and he yawns loudly, leading the other boy over to the bed before sliding underneath the covers. 

Carlos watches Logan and bites his lower lip a little more, not knowing if he should take off his pajama pants and t-shirt or just leave them on. He plays with the hem of his shirt, rolling the fabric between his fingers, and thinks about the best thing to do, his eyes roving over the silhouette of Logan’s body underneath the blanket.

“You coming in or not?” Logan asks, cutting through Carlos’ thoughts.

“Huh?”

Logan laughs and the bed springs squeak as he rolls over. “Get your ass in bed.”

“Oh — okay,” Carlos stutters, nodding as he bends down to pull at his socks, balling them up once they’re off. He tosses them into the corner and peels back the blanket, sliding onto the mattress beside Logan, his arm touching the other boy’s back and he definitely does not shudder at how warm Logan’s skin is. Totally doesn’t do that. Nope. Not at all.

“Do I smell vodka?” 

Carlos lays on his back and stays ramrod straight, shaking his head. “What — vodka? No, no vodka here, man,” he says, folding his hands low on his stomach, tapping his fingertips of one hand against the back of the other.

“You’re a terrible liar,” Logan mumbles, voice half amused.

“I’m not lyin’.” Sighing heavily, Carlos stares at the ceiling for a second and then rolls over onto his side so that he’s facing Logan’s back, fingers itching to trace the shape of his shoulders. He swallows hard and slips a hand underneath the pillow he’s got his head laying on, letting his eyes close slowly.

There’s a moment of silence and Carlos opens his eyes, mumbling, “Logan?”

“Hmm?” Logan hums, turning so that he can look at Carlos over his shoulder.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Logan turns over so that he’s facing Carlos and nods slowly. “Go ahead.”

“Do you,” Carlos starts, pausing to huff before he continues, “think I’m cute?”

Another beat of silence and Carlos repeats the question, his voice shaky and not as confident as before. The more time passes by between his question and Logan’s answer - or, lack of an answer - he can feel the pit in his stomach grow deeper and his chest tightens; he almost takes the question back, when he feels a hand on his arm.

“What made you ask that?”

“That’s not an answer,” Carlos points out, biting his lip.

Logan rolls his eyes and chuckles, fingertips brushing down Carlos’ arm. “Yes.”

“Yes — what?”

“Yes,” Logan repeats, “I think you’re cute.”

Hearing that makes Carlos smile and he licks his lips slowly, letting his eyes flutter shut, feeling Logan’s fingertips move along the back of his elbow. It’s a feather light touch but it makes him shudder and suck in small breath, shifting closer to Logan so that their noses are almost touching, crowding into his space.

“I think you’re cute,” Carlos admits, voice soft as he brushes the tip of his nose along the side of Logan’s, breathing softly. “Hey, Logan?”

“What?”

Carlos nudges his nose against Logan’s and smiles. “What’s your favourite colour?”

“Why are you asking me that?” Logan’s voice is soft and sleepy, content.

“Just answer, Henderson.”

Logan thinks for a minute and shrugs. “Blue,” he answers, moving his hand down, wrapping his fingers around Carlos’ wrist. “I’d ask you the same question, but I already know the answer; everyone does.”

“Purple and brown,” Carlos whispers, dragging his nose along Logan’s cheek.

“Why brown?”

A giggle escapes Carlos’ lips and he whispers, “Brown ‘cause that’s the colour of your eyes. Totally sappy, I know, but they’re gorgeous. Deep, rich, chocolate brown… they make me happy.”

“My eyes,” Logan starts, shivering as Carlos’ lips brush along his cheek, “make you happy? I don’t understand — how can they make you happy?”

“Because  _you_  make me happy.”

Something rumbles deep in Logan’s chest and, to Carlos, it sounds like a happy noise; he makes one of his own and moves over, brushing his lips against Logan’s slowly. Their breath mingles and he just barely hears Logan gasp before slotting their lips together, kissing him softly.

The kiss is everything Carlos could have imagined and more — it’s soft and sweet and Logan tastes like cinnamon and mint, the combination causing Carlos’ head to feel dizzy. Of course, that could be a side effect of the alcohol but he pushes that out of his mind and curls a hand around the back of Logan’s neck, kissing him slowly. 

Carlos uses his tongue to coax Logan’s lips apart and he slips between them, licking into his mouth slowly, moaning at the taste. His eyes slide shut and he tangles his fingers into the short hairs at the base of Logan’s skull, scratching across his skin lightly as he deepens the kiss just a little. He’s about to push himself against Logan when he feels a hand press against his chest and suddenly their mouths are pulled apart.

Neither of them say anything for a moment and Carlos is sure that he’s fucked this all up somehow. Maybe he shouldn’t have kissed Logan just yet; maybe he tasted the vodka on Carlos’ tongue and got mad, realizing he was lying; or, maybe, he’s just not feeling the same way about Carlos. Panic starts to set in and Carlos moves his hand around, resting it on the side of Logan’s neck, thumb brushing along his jaw.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, biting at his lip until he hurts. “I’ll, uh, leave if you want.”

Logan laughs and shakes his head. “I don’t want you to go anywhere,” he says, moving his hand down Carlos’ stomach, playing with the fabric of his shirt. “Please.”

“Yeah,” Carlos says, nodding as he licks his lower lip. “Yeah, alright — okay. I’m not  gonna go anywhere, kay? Gonna stay right here, and… and not going to kiss you.”

“Why not?”

“Cause you don’t like it?” Carlos answers, forming his reply like a question.

“I liked it,” Logan says, voice barely above a whisper, “but I just… you’re drunk, Carlos. We can’t do this, not tonight, not now. Maybe when you’re sober and you’ve had time to —”

Carlos interrupts Logan before he can finish. “This has _nothing_  to do with me being sober or with me not being sober, Logan. I know what I want, okay? I want  _you_  and I’ve wanted you for a while, since we’ve been in this band together. Ever since I saw you at the fucking auditions and you smiled at me, flashing those  _stupid_  dimples of yours and I knew that I was hooked. Knew that I wanted to see that smile and those dimples and know that  _I_  was the one that caused it. I want to be the person that makes you smile, Logan, and I want to make you laugh every day of our lives, but I don’t think you want that.”

“Carlos, you —”

“I want you,” Carlos interrupts again, like he hadn’t heard Logan speak, “and I’m just… going to put myself out there. Because I don’t want Kendall to come up here and kiss you because that’s just… no. I don’t want that.”

Furrowing his brow, Logan narrows his eyes and stares at Carlos. “I don’t… what’s that about you not wanting Kendall to come up here and kiss me?”

“He said he was going to do it.”

“Then you all got drunker than you should have,” Logan laughs, moving in closer to Carlos, wrapping an arm around his waist, pressing their noses together. “And, just an FYI, I don’t want Kendall or James or Dustin or anyone else. I want you and only you, okay? So, don’t go worrying about whether or not Kendall is going to come up here and kiss me because… gross.”

Carlos giggles and shakes his head. “Kendall’s not gross,” he mumbles, childishly.

“He’s gross when it comes to kissing me,” Logan replies, nudging Carlos’ nose.

“Well, he’ll never get to kiss you…. right?” There’s a hint of hope in Carlos’ voice.

Nodding, Logan kisses Carlos’ lips and whispers against them, “Right.”

“I wanna learn everything about you,” Carlos whispers, his lips brushing against Logan’s as he forms every word, “and I want to spend hours mapping your body out with hands my hands, fingers — lips. Wanna learn every inch of you, Logan, cause I gotta make up for lost time, right?”

Logan swallows at the lump in his throat and nods again, closing his eyes as he nudges the tip of his nose against Carlos’, breathing slowly. A hand moves down his arm, calloused fingertips brushing along his skin, tracing the bend of his elbow and moving down, swiping across his wrist. He shivers and sucks in a breath, holding it as he feels Carlos’ fingers move along the back of his own, fingertips dancing along his knuckles lightly, barely ghosting over them.

Tilting his head slightly, Carlos presses a kiss to Logan’s mouth, sucking on his lower lip as he moves his hand down, pressing his palm flat against the other boy’s stomach. He moves it down the smooth expanse, dipping his fingertips underneath the waistband of Logan’s briefs before retracting, moving his hand up. Carlos leaves his hand pressed just above Logan’s heart, feeling how wildly it’s beating underneath, smiling against the kiss.

“Sleepy,” Carlos mumbles when he pulls away, laying his head against the pillow, keeping his hand where it is, rubbing Logan’s chest lightly. “Gonna — ”  _yawn_  ” — go to sleep now, kay?”

Logan laughs and moves onto his back, closing his eyes. “Goodnight, Carlos.”

Yawning loudly, Carlos moves over and fits his body against Logan’s side, laying his head on the other boy’s chest as he curls up a little, yawning again. He wraps an arm around Logan’s side and tangles their legs together a bit, breathing slowly as he gets comfortable, making a happy noise once he’s settled.

It doesn’t take Carlos long to fall asleep and he pulls himself closer to Logan, feeling a hand on the back of his head, fingers carding through his hair just before sleep takes over. He mumbles in his sleep and mostly says Logan’s name, dreaming about kissing him more, and taking the time to explore the body he’s been wanting to touch for years.


End file.
